Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Love Your Child with All Your Heart

Love yourself with all of your heart. By doing this you set the example for your child so that they can love themselves. In doing so, you show your child that they have the right and the ability to love themselves.

There is no greater act of love!

When your child sees you loving and caring for yourself they will know that they can do this for themselves also. By giving them the space and the living example they will know how much you really love them!
Children learn by example and use what has been modeled for them. If you show them that you do not love yourself with all of your heart they will know, that they do not deserve to be loved. How so, you might ask.

A true loving heart is one that has loved them self first and shares that love with others. Sharing or radiating love is different than giving love.

By showing the child that you do not have love in your heart for yourself and that only others matter, they will then reflect and adopt this behavior as well as this belief system. What you teach them by not loving yourself is that they do not matter only loving others matters.

Teaching a child to love them self first is the sign of a truly loving heart. This truly loving heart is showing them that you love them so much that your personal needs are not involved in the equation, that your love is absolute and pure. The key to teaching this to your child is you learning to love yourself without conditions.

Traditionally people have been taught that the expression and display of love is the most important way to communicate it. But in truth love is a feeling, love is not a display nor a communication. You can feel if someone loves you or not, no matter what their words are. This is especially true for children. They feel your love, no matter what you do or say. As they become older they begin to understand the concept of love as it is explained, but this does not change their feeling experience of what love is.

How is this related to loving myself first you might ask. Well let us tell you, loving yourself first makes you a Hub of Love. They will feel the love that is inside you and no matter what your behaviors are they will know in their hearts that they are loved because they feel the love in your heart.


Remember:

Love Your Child with All of Your Heart

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Anti Depressants in Children

This Article was sent to us and we felt it would be of interest to many parents.

Effect of stimulant medication on children with attention deficit disorder: a "review of reviews.": An article from: Exceptional Children
The link between suicide and antidepressants like Paxil is so strong that they are required to carry black box warning labels detailing the risk. In young adults, particularly, the link is glaring and GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) even sent a warning letter to physicians in 2006 alerting them that Paxil may increase the risk of suicide attempts in young adults.

    Despite this, or more likely because of it, the company is now carrying out a study in Japan to test the efficacy of Paxil versus a placebo in children with depression. They are actively recruiting children between the ages of 7 and 17 years, who may be among the most vulnerable to Paxil’s suicidal side effects.

    Why would GlaxoSmithKline test Paxil on kids?

    It’s clearly not to find out whether it’s effective -- the drug is already approved, so this is a moot point. Instead, they are likely hoping that, come September 2010 when the study is supposed to be completed, they can somehow present their results to show that Paxil is not so bad after all.

    As Big Pharma analyst Jim Edwards wrote on BNET:

    “It’s not clear why the company would want to draw more attention to its already controversial pill, but it appears as if GSK might be hoping to see a reduced suicide risk in a small population of users — a result the company could use to cast doubt on the Paxil-equals-teen-suicide meme that dominates discussion of the drug.”

Kids Increasingly Targeted With Antidepressants

    Every year, 230 million prescriptions for antidepressants are filled, making them one of the most prescribed drugs in the United States.

    The UK banned nearly all antidepressants in kids in 2004, due to the increased risk of suicide. The United States, however, is still allowing Big Pharma to rake in the profits from selling these deadly, mind-altering drugs to kids.

    The amount of drugs being given to U.S. children is outrageous, and the extent of the problem becomes clear when you compare the statistics with other countries. U.S. children are getting three times more prescriptions for antidepressants and stimulants, and up to double the amount of antipsychotic drugs than kids from Germany and the Netherlands.

    Depression can indeed progress to suicide if left untreated. One would think that antidepressant drugs would be useful here but interestingly they actually have been shown to CAUSE both suicidal and homicidal thoughts and behaviors. For example, seven of the last 12 school shootings were done by children who were either on antidepressants or going through withdrawal.

    It’s not just the drugs prescribed, but the diagnoses that are in question, particularly in children. Six million children have been diagnosed with serious psychiatric disorders warranting drug treatment -- 1 million with bipolar disorder, long believed to occur only in adults.

    The fact remains that most of the kids being given antidepressants should simply not be taking them.

What Happens When You Take Your Child to a Psychiatrist …

    Mental health issues, including depression and unresolved emotional traumas, are among the most significant factors contributing to disease. And psychiatry is the branch of medicine that should be best suited to address this wounding.

    Unfortunately, psychiatry has long ago elected to follow a drug-based paradigm in their resolution of this wounding and in so doing has done its patients an extreme disservice.

    This is not a new occurrence, but rather one that has been going on for years and seems to only be getting worse. It reminds me of one particularly poignant letter written by Dr. Loren Mosher, a board-certified psychiatrist who received his BA from Stanford University and M.D. from Harvard Medical School in 1961, where he also subsequently took his psychiatric training.

    In his letter, which is a resignation letter sent to the president of the American Psychiatric Association in 1998, Dr. Mosher stated:

        “After nearly three decades as a member it is with a mixture of pleasure and disappointment that I submit this letter of resignation from the American Psychiatric Association. The major reason for this action is my belief that I am actually resigning from the American Psychopharmacological Association.

        Luckily, the organization's true identity requires no change in the acronym.

        Unfortunately, APA reflects, and reinforces, in word and deed, our drug dependent society …

        APA likes only those drugs from which it can derive a profit-directly or indirectly. This is not a group for me. At this point in history, in my view, psychiatry has been almost completely bought out by the drug companies.

    The APA could not continue without the pharmaceutical company support of meetings, symposia, workshops, journal advertising, grand rounds luncheons, unrestricted educational grants etc. etc. Psychiatrists have become the minions of drug company promotions.”

    This type of blatant conflict of interest continues to plague the psychiatric profession today.

    One of the most telling examples surrounds Dr. Joseph Biederman of Harvard Medical School, who is a world-renowned child psychiatrist. His work has helped fuel an explosion in the use of powerful antipsychotic medicines in children … and he earned at least $1.6 million in consulting fees from drug makers from 2000 to 2007.

    So you should know, plain and simple, that if you’re worried your child may be depressed or suffering from any other mental health issue, and you take him or her to a psychiatrist, you will most likely leave with a prescription and the advice to start medicating your child.

    This is especially concerning in light of new findings that indicate antidepressants may actually worsen depression.

Antidepressants May Lead to Chronic Depression

    In my recent interview with medical journalist and Pulitzer Prize nominee Robert Whitaker, he shared some very concerning insights about long-term use of antidepressants, which often happens when kids start taking them at young ages.

    According to Whitaker:

         “… that’s one of the things I looked at in this book and there are really two things that you find.

        You find that even with major depression, in the pre-antidepressant era – and this is depression so severe people were hospitalized – they could expect to get better. The episode would eventually pass.

        … So when antidepressants were introduced, the thought was okay, we really can hope to improve on this sort of natural recovery, but maybe we can help people recover quicker? So that really was the rationale for the use of antidepressants.

        But it’s really interesting if you follow this course through, forward in history. The minute they start using antidepressants in any sort of large numbers, doctors start saying, “Well, you know, my patients may be getting better, the depression maybe lifting faster, but then we’re noticing that they’re also relapsing more frequently than before, back into depression.”

    This begs the question, does the drug treatment actually put people on a more chronic course than before?”

    Long-term studies now indicate that of people with major depression, only about 15 percent that are treated with an antidepressant go into remission and stay well for a long period of time.

    The remaining 85 percent start having continuing relapses and become chronically depressed.

    “By the 1990s, this change in the long term course of depression was so pronounced that finally it was addressed by researchers,” says Whitaker.

         “Giovanni Fava from Italy said, “Hey, listen, the course is changing with antidepressants. We’re changing it from an episodic illness to a chronic illness, and we really need to address this.”

    Not only that, but the depression is sinking into people [on antidepressants] in a deeper way than before.”

    According to Whitaker’s research, this tendency to sensitize the brain to long-term depression appears to be the same both for the earlier tricyclic antidepressants and the newer SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors).

    Another famous psycho pharmacologist named Ross Baldessarini at the Harvard Medical School also began asking whether or not these drugs may in fact be depressogenic (causing depression).

    Unfortunately, the evidence points that way, and the long-term prognosis when taking antidepressants is quite bleak, as this type of drug treatment has a whopping 85 percent chronic relapse rate.

Antidepressants are NOT the Solution

    If your child is suffering from an emotional or mental challenge, please seek help, but do so from someone who does not regard psychotropic drugs as a first line of defense.

    The research is very clear that, along with the side effects, antidepressants do not work any better than sugar pills. Some studies have even found that sugar pills may produce better results than antidepressants.

    Even meta-analysis of published clinical trials indicates that 75 percent of the response to antidepressants can be duplicated by placebo!

    Personally, I believe the reason for these astounding findings is that both pills work via the placebo effect, but the sugar pills produce far fewer detrimental side effects…

    Unfortunately, antidepressants are far less innocuous than sugar pills, and aside from increasing the risk of suicidal thoughts they also increase your risk of diabetes and harm your immune system, among other risks.

Resolving Depression Naturally

    If your child is depressed, you will likely need to find someone outside of the conventional psychiatric medical community to help you work through the problem without drugs.

    When someone very close to me was suffering from depression, it was energetic techniques that assisted this person in full recovery from depression.

    In that case, a very advanced form of cranial osteopathy was administered by a skilled physician, however, there are other similar tools, such as Emotional Freedom Technique/Meridian Tapping Technique (EFT/MTT), which I’ve found can make an enormous difference if you suffer from depression or any other kind of emotional dysfunction.

    For serious problems, it would be best to contact a trained health care professional to assit you in these techniques. Here’s a helpful list of certified practitioners worldwide.

    I strongly believe that energy psychology is the single most important tool to resolve depression, but its effectiveness will certainly be significantly improved if combined with an appropriate Nutritional Type diet, along with dramatically lowered intake of sugar, grains, and processed foods.

    This is particularly true for children. I have treated many hundreds of children with behavioral and mental disorders and have consistently seen them improve once underlying toxicities and food changes were addressed.

    Artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners, and preservatives can have a very negative impact on your mental state as well as your physical health, so browse through my nutrition plan to find out what type of diet your child should be eating.

Using Exercise to Treat Depression

    Regular exercise is one of the “secret weapons” to overcoming depression.

    As Dr. James S. Gordon, MD, a world-renowned expert in using mind-body medicine to heal depression, said:

         “What we’re finding in the research on physical exercise is, the physical exercise is at least as good as antidepressants for helping people who are depressed … physical exercise changes the level of serotonin in your brain.

        It changes, increases their levels of “feel good” hormones, the endorphins. And also -- and these are amazing studies -- it can increase the number of cells in your brain, in the region of the brain, called the hippocampus.

        These studies have been first done on animals, and it’s very important because sometimes in depression, there are fewer of those cells in the hippocampus, but you can actually change your brain with exercise. So it’s got to be part of everybody’s treatment, everybody’s plan.”

    This is a very effective and beneficial treatment strategy. One study conducted by Duke University in the late 1990s divided depressed patients into three treatment groups:

       1. Exercise only
       2. Exercise plus antidepressant
       3. Antidepressant drug only

    After six weeks, the drug-only group was doing slightly better than the other two groups. However, after 10 months of follow-up, it was the exercise-only group that had the highest remission and stay-well rate.

    Some countries are taking these types of research findings seriously, and are starting to base their treatments on the evidence at hand.

    The UK, for example, does not routinely recommend antidepressants as the first line of therapy for mild to moderate depression anymore, and doctors there can write out a prescription to see an exercise counselor instead.

    I suggest you take these findings to heart now, and encourage your child to stay active if he or she is struggling with depression.

More Natural Tips to Address Depression

    I also strongly recommend supplementing your child’s diet with a high-quality, animal-based omega-3 fat, like krill oil. This may be the single most important nutrient to battle depression.

    Making sure your child is getting enough sunlight exposure to have healthy vitamin D levels is also a crucial factor in treating depression or keeping it at bay. One previous study found that people with the lowest levels of vitamin D were 11 times more prone to be depressed than those who had normal levels. Vitamin D deficiency is actually more the norm than the exception, and has previously been implicated in both psychiatric and neurological disorders.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Why do kids talk to adults in disrespectful ways?

The answer to this question depends on the age group you are talking about. For the purpose of this writing we will address this in general terms. So let's start from the beginning.

Children do not know how to deal with their feelings and often do not even know what they are. Because of this fact children will revert to behaviors observed by the people around them when similar circumstances have occurred. They will also use these behaviors imitating what they have observed in order to find out what works to either get them what they want or be accepted.
Basically here we are talking about family behavior patterns.

For example: when a child has seen someone in the family, usually mom or dad, drop and break something and then respond with an outburst, swear or even be silently upset the child has just learned what you do when you drop and break something.
What has just occurred is the child has unconsciously recorded these behaviors and options of what to do when you drop and break something. So in the future when a child drops something and it breaks they respond with either an outburst, swearing or being silently upset. Often times it comes out of the blue and you as the parent will think or say “I don't know where they got that behavior”. This is because you as the parent react to automatically in ways that you are not even aware of but the child records everything that you do.
To sum this up we would like to say, everything you do, say and feel is recorded unconsciously by your child. Your child at some random age will draw upon these unconscious memories and react to the situation with the behaviors they have witnessed. Often times this is to the surprise of the parents.
Another piece to this is, the child may put their own personal spin on those behaviors. This may cause the behaviors they are exhibiting to be unrecognizable by the parents.

For example: your two-year-old child has done something you dislike and you respond by suppressing your anger and talking through your teeth firmly yet appearing not to yell. Yet silently and feeling wise you have yelled at your child. For the sake of this example we will assume that you have continued the same behavior.
 At age of 10 you have done something that has displeased your child and they yell at you “I hate you mom” or “god mom that was stupid”. The typical parent would be surprised and offended that their child was yelling at them.
What has gone unrecognizable was that when the child displeased the parent the parent let them know with feeling but without yelling and the parent assumed that the child did not notice the same communication. All that has happened is that the child has taken the suppressed displeasure and verbalized it.

The moral to this story is “you reap what you sow”.

In other words the way you behave and the feelings you convey are intuitively and cognitively understood and felt by your child. These were the examples of how to behave and react in any given situation and your child is simply repeating them.

Children do not invent behaviors they simply imitate and modify behaviors. Parents should be aware of their behaviors and feelings and know that they convey these to their children and someday their children will mirror them back to them. If you are aware of this you will know where their behaviors have come from. If you are a self aware parent you hopefully will have corrected your behaviors and feelings that are inappropriate or unkind and you will be able to instruct your child on how to change theirs.

Loving care of yourself as a parent will make you a loving caring parent.

We hope these articles help and as always all questions and comments are welcome.